Disclaimer: I'll gladly give out references to providers who have given me references in the past. Thanks, sis. <3
Instantly, this was my first thought whenever I would read about a provider who was not reference friendly.
I Am No Longer Reference Friendly
Those thoughts were when I first joined the industry almost a year ago. Overtime, I can now completely understand why providers don't give out references.
Note: My reasons have nothing to do with fear of losing clientele/money. It has way more to do with legality, fear of unfortunate events and feeling somewhat unappreciated.
Now, this is my biggest fear...
Imagine that I get a booking request from a dude named Phil. Phil passes my screening with flying colors, and so we meet. Phil is absolutely fabulous and he is just the stunning example of a good client. He's safe, doesn't cross boundaries, handed over the necessary screening info with no hesitation, and he even knew I love Batman because he looked at my Twitter.
I am absolutely smitten. Phil is damn superstar in this scene! Or so...
Provider Requests Reference
A week later, I get an email from a provider named Candy Willow (totally made up ahahahah). Candy is asking me for a reference, and she provided me with all the necessary info that goes into a typical reference request email.
He's so awesome omg
Oh, she's asking me about Phil!
After looking over her website, social media and taking note of her P411 credentials, I reply back as soon as possible. I have nothing but complete admiration for this man, and then I conclude by asking if she needs any more info from me about Phil.
Candy thanks me for the request, and she informs me that no further info from me regarding Phil is needed.
Hahahahh Omg wait...
A few days later, I'm on one of the provider only forums just reading all the new things in our community along with laughing at the occasional jokes about horrible dates.
There was one horrible date posted that wasn't to be laughed at.
Attacked, Lied To & Cautious
Candy Willow posts a dialogue with details of some shocking, yet vile scene of a horrible date starring our superstar Phil.
How could he?
Candy posts about Phil being manipulative, how he attacked her since she didn't conform to his rules, and how she finally escaped the hazardous situation.
Reading this, I couldn't believe it; however, she had some very detailed wording along with images of her bruising.
Boy, this image of that giant bruise on her near her rib cage that she apparently got after jumping out the window to get away from the wrath of Phil, seems hella plausible. I mean, Phil was so amazing with me. I don't know what could possibly make him physically hurt others.
Then, she says to the providers reading, to send her a private message for the name of the provider who gave her the reference.
Oh, this bitch. This bitch right here...
Finally, Candy commences with forever being cautious of everyone in the community.
Cry me a river!
Dude, My Bad
So now I feel fucking horrible that a provider was viciously attacked by a man that was totally fine with me. Along with C-Willow and her crew taunting me and probably even looking at my social media pages like, "Yup! Phoenixx! That's her! Her right there! (C-Willow pointing to her computer screen of my Twitter page) Her trick ass."
I would feel terrible if a similar situation really did become reality simply because a provider gets hurt after I rant & rave about her (future) suspect.
Like, my ranting & raving was intended to help supplement her screening by telling her that Phil is not LE and totally fine. Right?
Different Time, Different Place, Different People, Different Factors
Our line of work is uniquely complicated. Companionship is a personal job, and it involves so many different things. Many different things that we simply do not have control over.
Seriously, who really knows what made Phil into a madman that evening with C-Willow. I'm not trying to put the blame on her. I'm just trying to illustrate how,
"If one client is awesome with me, that doesn't automatically guarantee they'll be awesome with you."
Look, majority of the time, companions are busy dealing with people, and people are complicated in general! All the different factors within an encounter between two people can either make it memorable or hazardous.
Unfortunately, most of the time, providers can't control the factors that initiate a hazardous encounter. As I'm writing this, I honestly can't even fathom how I would get over the fact that my reference lead to a provider getting attacked.
The Ball is In Candy's Court
Hopefully, C-Willow can continue screening along with using some good 'ole spidey senses to make a final decision.
Note: Providers, you're welcome to email me for the password to my locked blog post with screening tips. You can never be too safe!
Conspiracy, police decoys, etc.
It would be detrimental to give a reference to an undercover cop, but the first thing that many providers do when they receive a reference request is that they first check out the sender. They screen the sender to make sure they're a legit provider before saying anything.
Lately, before becoming reference unfriendly, I would have far-fetched, yet real thoughts about "What If" when it came to giving a reference. It would simply suck to potentially be involved in an LE incident.
I personally feel like if shit gets real, and if my name is anywhere near this real shit, then I'm probably screwed.
I'm not entirely sure of any legal repercussions involving references, but yo... Look!
With FOSTA and everything else going on within the legal world and our world, it's best to be safe than sorry. Punishments are now tougher, and some are even considered a felony due to the new legislation. Kiss those minuscule misdemeanors goodbye.
Plus, I can kind of see how maybe a provider would somehow get a conspiracy charge from LE based from their reference.
Two words that have the power to either stimulate appreciation when they're said or deep-rooted negativity when unheard:
You know, providers aren't obligated to give a reference whenever they're requested one; however, many decide to give references just to help keep other providers safe which should be appreciated!
Note: If you're a provider who has given me a reference in the past, I remember you. If I see any of you in my inbox asking for a reference, I got you. Thanks, sis!
Don't Get It Twisted
If a provider comes to me with help with screening such as tools, certain techniques, then I'll definitely help as best as I can!
Reference Friendly Escorts Are Badass
Yo, shout out to the providers who are reference friendly. After writing this and discussing some threatening possibilities, y'all are bad bitches for taking a risk! I highly respect that.
Hopefully, you respect my decision too.